Vigyan Nagar, Kota, Rajasthan.

14th July,2019.

When was the time you realized that your life has become mess? By that I mean a complete mess. Some things that you really can’t fix now. And things you are wishing that could be undone. You try hard not to regret the decisions you make, but to do that you make decisions that you will regret later. Its just a loop you don’t get out of that easily. Being vulnerable to the world is one of the weaknesses that I have. You know trying to please everyone. Letting my sense of empathy and urge for adventure take over my sanity is something I really need to fix.

I have come to know that whatever you may be doing in life is always better from someone’s perspective and always worse from another’s. But wherever you may be whatever be the position or age you are always stressed about something or the other. Everyone has problems which might seem not like a big deal for us but is something really difficult for the person actually experiencing it.

We meet numerous people and exchange stories, experiences and that is something I consider one of the most wondrous things us humans are capable of doing. You know but with more conversations and more people come some unsaid levied responsibilities. Responsibility to you know maintain contact, carry on conversations, keep checking on people, help them in problems. I am not saying that I don’t like it but you know at times it’s just overwhelming when you have like hundred messages from fifty different people, all with different stories and things to share.

My problem comes when I am not able to address every person, cause you know there’s always like this priority list of people in your life, that list of course keeps changing with time but at a certain time you feel like talking to a few people more than you want to talk to others. Which I don’t know is true only for me or for everyone, but I know it’s not something I should be proud of.

Well as of my thoughts right now, I’ll just say that I’ve been living a really reckless life without giving much thought to things which I’m trying to fix as in I’ve realised that it’s probably not the best way for me to live. So yeah hoping to take more thoughtful decisions in future.

Cause though I can’t fix what’s done, I can always change what’s next!



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