20th September, 2020.
You know, I’ve come to this realization after a lot of experience that; ‘It’s just so nice to be liked’.
I mean obviously it’s nothing surprising but it took me long to apprehend that, I really need validation in life, and I mean like real-life validation.
Okay, I totally agree that this might not be the best thing for me, but the happiness I gain when people validate me is so great that I don’t really mind the side effects it has. Though the road to this ‘Validation-Attainment’ has cost me, a fair share of giving up my self-respect and being taken for granted. But, nevermind.
Being a people’s person, really comes with its own set of pros and cons, the pros being the feeling of acknowledgement which, attention-seeking extroverts like me love, and the cons being so dependant on being surrounded by people that you can’t handle the loneliness that comes along when the person you wish to talk to is not around.
I mean I’m telling for someone like me, if I don’t get the kind of human interaction I want, I become demented. Not even exaggerating, I start writing a full-fledged novel in my head like I’m in a mid-life crisis. There is no end to the dark turn of events that I presume, the consequences that I picture and the ocean of self-doubt that I drown myself in. And, all of this due to someone else being busy with their life, that’s how vulnerable it can be.
I can list a ton of disadvantages, I’ve faced and I am facing due to this outlook, my desire to be accepted leads to subservience, and that at times is also an understatement. I am not trying to play the victim here, because this is what I choose to do every single day, knowing all the sides of the story.
But you know, it’s not all that negative. I feel validation is necessary for showing importance and gratefulness for someone who’s there no matter what. As dramatic it may sound, the reality is that after a hard day, full of tribulations, it’s good to hear from someone ready to accept the mistakes you made.
Good or bad, I don’t know, but I’m really trying hard to change this attitude, because it’s genuinely tough for me to handle the mood-swings I have, where I go from being exhilarated in one moment to losing all my self-worth in the other.