Dehradun, Uttarakhand.

26th October, 2020.

Have you ever been afraid of a crime you never committed?

Like you didn’t do anything wrong but you think that someone thinks you did something wrong and you’re just afraid that you won’t be able to prove that you’re innocent. Have you ever felt that?

Cause I feel it like almost every day. I just think that I have to behave in a certain way, and that if I do something that I’m supposedly not supposed to do then I might get scolded or like get called out on. 

Another thing I’ve realized is that I live a very ‘scared-life’ and it has been this way since a very long time for many obvious and not so obvious reasons, you won’t believe I’m scared of more things than you can imagine… a few of them being failure, ignorance, loosing bonds and… spiders! 

Well the list is long but let’s save it for some other day. 

Someone told me a few days ago that I take things too personally, maybe I do or maybe it was all talks, I’ve yet to realize. But thinking about it made one thing clear that I overthink… that to a lot, about a lot of stuff which I probably shouldn’t even care about. I’m trying to make a lot of thoughts clear and sometimes I think maybe I don’t have that many thoughts it’s just that I have too much time to myself these days.

To future busy days ahead, please come soon…

Kinda craving some real work.

~Minza.

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Kishore Sagar Lake Park, Kota, Rajasthan

21st July, 2019.

You know, the sense of security and trust you feel when you have access to something, or someone?

It’s really weird how you can just try harder and harder for validation until that person gives in to you. The sense of happiness, and more importantly calmness is achieved, the path to which kept you engulfed in anxiety and uncertainty. You no longer have to be cautious or succumb to conditions. There are more candour conversations, exchange of details and involvement in the mundane actions of everyday life. That’s having access to a person. It might sound negatively assertive, but it’s just a fancy metaphorical reference to daily exchange of dialogue.

Having access also comes with a few rules, the most important of which I feel is not letting the habit of that person have adverse effect on you. I won’t say don’t let the habit develop because firstly, that’s not possible; and I speak from personal experience, and secondly because habits are good in the sense that they are comfortable.

I have access to people; some completely, some partially. And also have people I’m trying to get access of. I think this is something everyone does, repeatedly, as they meet newer folks in life. Also, I have to add that the more access you have of a person the more access you give to them. And that is what I prefer to call trust.

~Minza.

Seoul, South Korea.

I pen friend of mine sent me this photograph of his city Seoul in South Korea and I edited it. The place he lives in is beautiful and I guess whatever I do might not do justice to the original beauty.

~Minza.

Kishore Sagar Talab Park, Kota, Rajasthan, India.

October, 2017.

Superstition is not saving a drowing man thinking that the surging swells might swallow us too if we defy the nature.

~Minza.

Kota, Rajasthan, India.

19th January, 2019.

The means I used for those meanings, mean a lot to me. I may not mean anything to the mean you, But I still had to find a mean between my heart and you.

~Minza.

Old Kota Gate, Rajasthan, India.

7th January, 2019.

I am not good at maths but I have a lot of problems.

~Minza.